Optimism and Discipline

24 Oct 2014-08-01 19.06.59

Last weekend I was lazy and didn’t do much, but I was giving myself that week to be lazy so that I could get back into it starting this week. Carolyne and I have been discussing the fact that more than anything right now, we need discipline. The 30 day exercise challenge that I have been participating in is definitely helping to show me that it isn’t so hard to dedicate 30 minutes of every day towards improving yourself, so now I just have to work on adding another 30 minutes or couple of hours to something that will bring me closer to the career of my dreams.

2014-08-01 19.06.59

For my this month goals, I do not believe that updating my demo reel will work, because I have been unable to get any more footage, although I am incredibly excited to see my scenes from class this week. I had spent a lot of time working on the scenes so I didn’t just know my lines, I also knew my goals and how I felt about the other person, and all of the different levels in the scene. The first time we actually did it on camera, I kind of realized halfway through that although I let myself get angry and then hurt and so on, I forgot the most important part, that I loved the guy i was having the argument with. So, the first take was a bust, but I’m pretty sure the other takes were probably some of our best work. Maybe.

For my other scene, from Orange Is The New Black, it was interesting, because it’s a breakup scene, but also really emotional because one of us is dealing with a loss. What made it especially interesting is that each take was different. We were in the moment and although I didn’t hug her in the first take when I felt I should, she did hug me at the end, so we had this moment of ‘what’s happening?’ before just going with it. And then the next take she didn’t hug me. We let our emotions lead us, so we got something different with every take.

Wednesday my dad and I took an impromptu trip to Plattsburgh, where we didn’t actually accomplish much, but we did talk and spend lots of time together. It’s nice to do that every once in a while.

This week I also signed up for horseback riding lessons, which I have been meaning to do for a while. I haven’t gone horseback riding in years, but I always enjoyed it, and who knows when it can come in handy on set. I wonder if they will be able to teach us to ride side saddle?

“Things never happen on accident. They happen because you have a vision, you have a commitment, you have a dream.”

-Oscar De La Renta

Day Jobs and Dream Jobs

17 Oct

I have left my day job. Have I done that before? Why yes, I have, but this time hopefully for good. I went back this summer to help my mom out, which had its pros and cons, but I had my last day on Monday, and can now focus so much more time on my acting. I might have taken a little bit too much advantage of this lack of a schedule this week, which resulted in sleeping in and having trouble convincing myself to do the things I know I should be doing, but I decided to give myself this week so that next week, I will have no excuses and be ready to take on the world ;)

On Tuesday, Carolyne and I met up and got some menchies before going to class. It was the first class this month, which meant we each got a new scene, did a cold read and tried to put it up on its feet. Carolyne told Suzanna last week how much I would love to play Rachel in Suits, so my scene this months is as Rachel :) So excited about this. I was highlighting my lines and waiting to hear the final scenes when Suzanna handed me a second script. I have already explained my theory about how awesome it is to have 2 scenes in this class, and I get to play Piper in Orange is the New Black. All I can say is that I cannot wait! Also, Carolyne must have thought it was my birthday or something, because I went home with a bag full of little presents. Thank you :)

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No footage back from the people I emailed last week yet, but I also emailed the background agencies that have stuff filming right now, so fingers crossed that I will get to be on set again soon :)

“Working hard is great, being lazy sometimes is great, but failed potential is the worst.”

-Campbell Scott

One Step At A Time

9 Oct

We are on Day 9 of the 30 day challenge, and so far, things are going pretty good. As for my other October goals, I have messaged everyone who has footage of me for my demo reel, emailed the people from stunt stage, and start stage combat on Friday. The stunt class hasn’t gotten back to me yet, so I think they may be full for this session, or possibly annoyed with the fact that I keep joining sessions without finishing them. My bad, but I think the fact that I keep coming back has to show determination. We shall see.

Last week was the first episode of Season 2 of Reign, and if you know where I am, you can catch me looking distraught at the thought of the plague.

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On set, everyone keeps telling me I look exactly like one of the main characters, so when I emailed my availabilities, I also mentioned that I would be more than happy to be a photo double or something. It probably isn’t super likely, but crazier things have happened ;)

Carolyne and I did get to see This Is Where I Leave You, which was really good, although I personally wish I had seen the movie and then read the book, instead of the other way around. Acting class was cancelled this week, so I didn’t get my dose of actor talk, but I did do a self-tape, and went to the most interesting audition I have been on yet. They didn’t have the script yet, so they had me do tongue twisters, have a conversation as a character, act without talking…it was unlike any auditions I have been on before, but it was also a lot of fun :)

I am off to Mcgill to pretend to be a med student now, and tonight I am finally getting to see Gone Girl. I read the book and am kind of hoping they did end up changing the ending, at least a bit.


“Confidence has nothing to do with what you look like. If you obsess over that, you’ll end up being disappointed in yourself all the time. Instead, high self-esteem comes from how you feel in any moment. So walk into a room acting like you’re in charge, and spend your energy on making the people around you happy.”

-Marian Seldes

30 Day Challenge

1 Oct




Today is October 1st and I have my October goals :) By the end of this month, I hope to have checked off :

-Start Horseback riding

-Update my Demo Reel

-Stunt Stage and Stage Combat Classes

-30 Day Challenge

These goals obviously have smaller things I need to accomplish in order to complete them, which is good, because it is a lot easier to tackle baby steps. The 30 day challenge is something my cousins invited me to do, where have to work out for a good 25 minutes every day, sending sweaty pictures to each other, or paying the fine if we don’t. We will either be overweight and broke, or healthy and rich. I am hoping for Option #2.

I know it has only been a few days since my last post, but I`ve been busy. In addition to coming up with my goals for the next few months, I had an audition on Sunday morning, and class yesterday.

The audition went pretty well, like I am more confident about this audition that I have been about any other in quite some time (not since last year, the project I got a callback for before the project died :( ) I was given two sets of sides to prepare, one for the character I submitted for, and one for a completely different character with an Australian accent. I checked my CV to make sure, but I definitely don’t boast an Australian accent, because I am terrified enough of the British one I think is sort of decent. So, I made an effort to try to get it, but I have to admit I concentrated a lot more on the other part, the one I really wanted to get. There are a lot of similarities with me, and while she seemed to ramble without purpose, I justified every line to myself and really enjoyed it. The guy I auditioned for, who had been in class with Suzanna with me last Spring, said I did it different than they had seen her while writing the scene, but I also brougth a vulnerability that made him want to take me in his arms. That`s a good sign, right? Either way, it seems like an awesome project, he`s super nice, so I am crossing my fingers that this turns into something. Especially since it is a collaborative project where I would actually have a say in the development of my character. I have to wait at least 2 weeks to find out, but it will hopefully be worth it :)

Class yesterday was a blast. After a day at McGill with lots of breaks to hang out and talk, we were a few students short and got to do the same between scenes. I got to be the reader for a scene from Suits, which I would absolutely love to get on in real life, and had different readers for both of the takes of my one scene. I still need to work on interacting with my scene partner as the bitch, but I definitely improved. I can now talk as the bitch, I just need a little help sometimes with the listening as the bitch, without a smile on my face. Suzanna said she wouldn’t generally cast me as the bitch anyway, but it was so much fun to play one, at least for a little while :)

I also finished This Is Where I Leave You yesterday, and can’t wait to go see the movie tomorrow with Carolyne! After bailing on her last week, we definitely need to compare game plans :)




”Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.`”

-Bernard M. Baruch

Also, have you seen the cool behind the scenes pics at     https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Dark-Shack/291476477600331

27 Sep

September has been a month of ups and downs for me, but I recently reread a lot of my old blog posts, and have decided to have a more positive outlook, and to focus on what I can change rather than worrying over what has happened or things I have no control over.

I was supposed to be filming The Epidemic around now, but due to scheduling conflicts and availability issues, it has been pushed to hopefully May. This delays my becoming ACTRA and is really a bummer because I was so excited to film it, but since I am focusing on the positive, I now have months to book non-union projects to fill my resume and improve my demo reel. Not to mention the fact that I am lucky enough to have to deal with scheduling conflicts and the availability of recognizable working actors.  I am just going to take this time to improve on my skills and my package (demo, headshots, CV) so that when it all eventually comes together, I will be more than ready for it.

Earlier this month, I made my way to the offices of my Toronto background agent to pick up some cheques and get pictures taken. Sometimes when dealing with texts and emails, I can get paranoid about subtext, but everyone working there so far seems to be incredibly nice and friendly. And I have been on set 3 more times since my last post, having to turn down some days when I was out of town. I’m sure I have mentioned this before, but I love being on set, in any capacity, so the past two days have been awesome :)

In other news, the ballet classes conflicted with my schedule, so I am signing up for Stage Combat classes instead, which is good, because I think I make a more credible secret super spy than a prima ballerina, right? Very excited to start that next week :)

Last week I resumed classes with Suzanna. It feels so good to be back :) Talking with my classmates and with Suzanna is definitely the cherry on top, but actually learning lines, rehearsing, putting the scene on its feet on camera…I finally feel like I am getting back to the grind. And I get to play a bitch, which is not something I get to do often, so that’s an added bonus ;)

Finally, as far as milestones go, I had my first audition in Toronto yesterday. I have self-taped before, but this was the first time that they emailed and I happened to be on set in Toronto, with a late enough call time the following day to be able to make it. The audition was for a student thesis, and I barely had an hour to look over the sides, but I think I managed pretty well, considering. Of course, due to my fear of not having control and being unprepared, I spent more time learning the lines than building a relationship. In the auditioning room, they had me do both scenes twice, the second time with adjustments. I definitely knew better when one of the adjustments was about my relationship with the other person in the scene, and I might need to get drunk for research and catalog how I act. But overall I am calling it a success, because it was my first Toronto acting audition. First of many :)

I have another audition tomorrow, and another the following week, so I feel at least the ball is rolling. I have to adjust my plans and goals to accommodate for shooting delays, but next week I will have a list of goals to accomplish in October, and sharing them with you will be the push I need to make sure they all get done.  Hope you all have an awesome weekend :)


“We should stop defining each other by what we are not, and start defining ourselves by who we are.”

-Emma Watson (In her HeForShe speech, but isn’t it kind of relevant for all of us in general?)

Game Plan

31 Aug

Now that I haven’t had something to do every single day, I have been able to sit back and analyze where I am at and what I have achieved this summer. There are a lot of things I am so happy and proud of, but I also think I missed out on a lot. Not that I would have gotten all of the parts, but there were a lot of roles I didn’t even submit myself for because I thought I would be ACTRA by the middle of July. As it turns out, it probably won’t be until the end of September, maybe later, and that’s okay, I just need to stop planning based on things I don’t actually have a timetable for. There’s an expression about not counting your chickens before the eggs hatch, and I definitely learnt it this summer. From now on, I will take Carolyne’s advice and submit for all of the non-union stuff until I have my ACTRA number in hand. I will also not sit around and wait to be called for extra work, or for things to happen. There are a lot of things I am planning to do ‘as soon as I am ACTRA’ which I know make sense, but there’s no reason I can’t prepare everything before then. I am going to be proactive, not reactive about my career, as suggested in an article on making it in Hollywood. There doesn’t seem to be a secret answer to becoming a working actor, but I think as long as you keep at it and are always doing something, you’ll eventually make it.

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So, I have spent a lot of the past week working on my short and long term goals, where I want to be in 6 months or a year, and more importantly, how do I make these goals and dreams come true. I have already signed up for ballet classes, and will be starting back up with Suzanna in a few weeks, which kind of takes a load off my shoulders. It may be counterintuitive that more work would make me feel less stressed, but there is something about being out of class for a while that makes you stir-crazy. If you’re constantly on set filming things or watching talented actors work, it isn’t so bad, but when you’re spending a lot of time at your day job, you need to get back to being creative and acting. I have 10 days to go :)

For those of you who are my facebook friends, you will notice that I did the ALS ice bucket challenge last weekend. There has been a lot of criticism on the idea of wasting drinking water and posting a video of yourself to supposedly find a cure for ALS, but the point is to do something big, that people will see, in order to raise awareness, so more people will donate, like everyone who took the challenge is supposed to have done. I think it’s an amazing idea and it’s clearly working. After doing the challenge myself, I drove to Ottawa with Steve, so that he and Rikki could also do the challenge. It was a nice excuse for a road trip and a night out with the cousins. We checked out Mosaika, a light show on parliament, which you should definitely check out if ever you find yourself in Ottawa :)


On Wednesday, Carolyne and I caught up at Starbucks, where I got to have my first pumpkin spice latte of the season. A bit early, and I’m not ready to see summer go, but the PSL and watching If I Stay afterwards definitely got me in the mood for Fall. If you’ve read the book or seen the trailer for If I Stay, you know watching it will make you cry, but it is also an excellent primer for reading the second book, Where She Went, so that you cry upon random passages where there is nothing actually sad. You’ve been warned.

I am now off to have lunch with my dad, then will organize all of my goals to form a cohesive Game Plan for the next few months, especially September. Starting tomorrow, I plan on truly following Hugh Jackman’s pre-X-Men plan, of working on it 7 days a week, giving it your all for 5 years. I also think I might get back to posting monthly or weekly goals on here, since I seem to work better when I have someone to hold myself accountable to ;)


“Always Do Your Best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.”
-Miguel Angel Ruiz

22 Aug IMG_1425

I hope you all enjoyed your summer. I don’t know about you, but I have no idea where the time has gone. Do you realize it is almost September?

I am going to start this post off with my awesome good news, that I have been waiting so long to share with you. If you have recently perused my imdb page, you will see that I now have a new credit. A credit for a movie with people you have probably actually heard of. I am pleased and super excited to say that next month I will have a small part in a movie! Not only is this awesome because I get to act, which is how I would like to spend the rest of my life, but this role is on an ACTRA production, meaning that once the contract is signed, I should be able to apply for my first ever ACTRA credit!!! Good things are on the horizon and I can’t wait to reach them. While we wait for some behind the scenes set pics, you can check out and like the imdb page :)


You might have noticed that it has been over a month since my last post. My apologies, I have been busy, as I hope most of you were. Either enjoying the weather, working hard or pursuing your dreams. I have been doing a bit of all 3. When I last left you, I was super nervous about the commercial I was about to shoot, mostly because I had to do my own hair and makeup. And bring my own wardrobe. And because I had a ginormous bruise running down my arm. The nerves kept up until I got there, and intensified as they went over the clothes I had brought, peaking when I had to put on the first one, and do my hair and makeup. But then, it became fun. Yes, I need to work on my makeup applying skills. Yes, an industrious quantity of the stuff they use to cover tattoos didn’t quite get rid of my bruise. But, I had an amazing time on that 3 day shoot. It was actually for production/promotional videos for Techcraft wall beds. You can find me on their videos at costco.ca, which definitely brings me up a notch as far as my grandmother and mother are concerned. I also got to meet and work with some awesome people whose paths I hope I get to cross some time soon.  Not to mention a tour guide for when I next visit London ;)


A lot of my work was for the campground, not for my acting, but I still made it to Toronto twice more and had the most amazing time on set, meeting people and watching the actors at work. I also worked one day as an extra here in Montreal. There was only one actor in this particular scene, but that means there’s more time for the camera to focus on me and my emerald dress, right? It was one of those days where it is raining, but not enough for it to show on camera, so we shoot anyways. It would have been horrible, only my boyfriend for the day had an umbrella and we had some interesting conversations that made the time fly :)

I only got to see Carolyne once, when we went to see Guardians of the Galaxy, which I think everyone should go see. We didn’t really have much time to go in depth on everything going on, but we did get pretty excited when talking about all of the cool new productions happening in Montreal these upcoming months. Fingers crossed for both of us :)

I do have to admit that it isn’t only work that has been keeping me busy. We got a new manager at work, so I should be able to cut down on a lot of my hours, but my aunt, my cousin and my cousin’s baby boy came to visit us from Saskatchewan for a little over a week. It was really nice seeing them, both for conversations in my living room and the whale watching in Quebec City. 

Other than my completing the Color Run with my brother and cousins, that is pretty much all that has been going on lately. I am trying to find a place to stay while volunteering at TIFF in the beginning of September, and will try to get back to posting weekly.

“I am not a has-been. I am a will be.”

-Lauren Bacall

“No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.”

-Robin Williams


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